


Anxious Android

by somethingtardisblue



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Connor & Upgraded Connor | RK900 are Siblings, Deviant Upgraded Connor | RK900, How Do I Tag, M/M, Panic Attacks, Post-Canon, Trans Gavin Reed, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-16
Updated: 2019-04-16
Packaged: 2020-01-15 04:56:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18491800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/somethingtardisblue/pseuds/somethingtardisblue
Summary: Their partnership was an odd one, most would expect it to have failed a long time ago. A known android hater being willing to work with an android is unlikely, but they made it work. RK900 was happy to let Detective Reed lead, simultaneously assuring the human that he wasn’t going to be replaced and allowing the android to do his work with as little social interaction as possible. Detective Reed seemed to perceive him as just being a tool he could use at a crime scene or in an interrogation, but RK900 didn’t mind. One wouldn’t try to have small talk with a piece of equipment.





	Anxious Android

Deviancy seemed to be more difficult for RK900 to adjust to that other androids. Certainly Connor, who referred to himself as RK900’s older brother, had handled the change more smoothly. He was even experimenting with his preferences regarding pretty much everything. RK900 was constantly subjected to different genres of music, a wide variety of movies and TV shows and even his brother’s attempts at finding out which styles of clothes he preferred to wear. Which was exactly how they’d ended up in their current situation.

“Why don’t you try something, RK900? The Cyberlife uniform makes people a little uncomfortable, you know?” Connor had paused whilst browsing jackets, turning to his brother. “It’ll be good to try and figure out what you like!” he said, observing him with warm brown eyes.

RK900 simply nodded, casting his gaze over the array of jackets the store had on display. Connor had suggested this early on, not even trying on anything for himself yet, so RK900 concluded that this was Connor’s intention from the beginning. Removing his Cyberlife uniform had not crossed his mind before; it was practical and suitable for the workplace, so why change it? Now though, with the expectant manner in which Connor was watching him, he found he didn’t want to disappoint the other android.

As RK900 began to catalogue each of the options available to him, he found that there was so much information to consider. Too much in fact. How was he supposed to make the correct choice with so many variables? His hands began to shake slightly, curling up into fists at his side. The different sounds in the store congealed into one overwhelming noise. Red warnings completely swamped his vision.

**BROKEN.**

**USELESS.**

**WORTHLESS.**

**PATHETIC.**

**FAILURE.**

**FAILURE.**

**FAILURE.**

**FAILURE.**

**_FAILURE._ **

“RK900? What’s going on? Are you alright?” Connor’s voice broke through the red, but he couldn’t find his own voice. It was as if he couldn’t think. All he could see was red. A hand latched onto his arm and started pulling him. He let himself be led away, even if he just wanted to yank his arm away and curl into a ball in a floor. No, that kind of behaviour was unacceptable for an advanced android such as himself.

Connor was now talking, just talking about Sumo and the silly things he’d done the other day. RK900 focused on the familiar voice as the red began to fade. He was safe here. It was quiet, just him and Connor on a park bench. His reconstruction software came online, and he watched the outlines of Sumo and Connor playing together. The familiarity was soothing.

“Are you feeling better, RK900?” Connor asked. “Your stress levels were very high.”

“I am sorry I worried you.” RK900 lowered his gaze to his feet. He’d disappointed Connor, he knew. He was so pathetic. Just a waste of resources.

The other android gently bumped his shoulder with his own. “Don’t apologise, it’s my fault for pushing you like that. Let’s go home, ok?”

Home was Lieutenant Anderson and Sumo; home was safe and warm and comfortable. RK900 was in his usual spot in the armchair, St Bernard at his feet, when the Lieutenant approached. RK900 knew he’d just been talking to Connor and he was 98% certain their conversation had been about him.

He slouched on the couch, watching RK900 with concerned eyes. The posture could potentially damage his back, but RK900 had learned that the Lieutenant didn’t often appreciate comments like that, so he kept quiet. “Hey, kid,” he began. “Connor told me about earlier.”

RK900 lowered his gaze to the floor. It was covered in a large quantity of dog hair; it would need to be vacuumed again soon. “I am sorry.”

“Don’t apologise, kid! It’s not your fault. Emotions and shit get tough sometimes.”

His hands balled up into his fists. “Most deviants don’t struggle in this way.” He was designed to be the perfect machine and yet he constantly made mistakes. Perhaps this was his punishment for turning against his creators and becoming deviant.

“Yeah, well you’re not all gonna be the same, are ya?”

“I suppose not,” he admitted, glancing back up. “Thank you, Lieutenant.”

A soft smile spread across the man’s face. “C’mere, kid.” He patted the seat next to him, and RK900 moved whilst attempting to not disturb the dog. The moment he sat down again, he was pulled into a tight hug. He didn’t have much experience, but he believed that no one could give better hugs than Hank Anderson. They were warm and tight and full of so much love ~~that he didn’t deserve~~. “Y’know you can talk to me whenever you need to, right?”

RK900 nodded, wrapping his arms around the Lieutenant.

“And I’ve told you before, call me Hank.”

“Thank you, Hank.”

Work the next day was…interesting to say the least. It was difficult to work when he could feel the Lieutenant and Connor watching him the majority of the time. He knew that Detective Reed would pick up on it, his partner wasn’t as dense as he’d first seemed, and he worried what he would think if he knew how weak the android truly was. The Detective would surely want to be rid of a defective android like him if he knew.

“Oi, tincan! Is something going on?” Detective Reed was annoying and loud as usual. RK900 looked up from his monitor to see him gesture towards the Lieutenant and Connor. “Those two keep acting like you’re gonna explode or something.”

“Just some personal issues. They aren’t interfering with my work, so no need to worry, Detective,” RK900 responded, turning back to his work. The Detective wasn’t interested in his personal life, so he felt comfortable that this answer would satisfy him. The muttered “fucking androids” he received was enough to assure him that the Detective would not pursue the topic any further.

 

 

Their partnership was an odd one, most would expect it to have failed a long time ago. A known android hater being willing to work with an android is unlikely, but they made it work. RK900 was happy to let Detective Reed lead, simultaneously assuring the human that he wasn’t going to be replaced and allowing the android to do his work with as little social interaction as possible. Detective Reed seemed to perceive him as just being a tool he could use at a crime scene or in an interrogation, but RK900 didn’t mind. One wouldn’t try to have small talk with a piece of equipment.

RK900 was once again sat in front of his desk. To an outsider he would seem to be working very efficiently, but he knew he was distracted. No matter how hard he tried to focus on his tasks, his mind kept wandering back to one particular thought.

_“Have you thought of a name yet?”_

Connor had asked that question that morning. It seemed innocent and harmless, but every single time it crossed his mind, RK900 could feel his stress levels rising.

**YOU ARE JUST LETTING CONNOR DOWN.**

**THEY WOULD BE HAPPIER WITHOUT YOU.**

**YOU ARE JUST A DISAPOINTMENT.**

He drew his hands into fists. He could feel his whole body shaking. His thirium pump was hammering so hard he could hear it. His eyes squeezed shut but even that couldn’t stop the red.

**THEY CAN ALL SEE HOW PATHETIC YOU ARE.**

**WORTHLESS.**

**USELESS.**

**FAILURE.**

A hand was on his shoulder. RK900 looked up to find his partner.

“Hey, come with me a sec.”

He stood. They walked through the precinct, RK900 not paying much attention. The thoughts inside his head was just too much to process.

“Sit.” He did. So did Detective Reed. “I need you to take some deep breaths ok?” Detective Reed sounded unsure, but he continued. “In. And out. In. And out. In. And out. In. And out. Just copy my breathing, ok?”

Detective Reed was taking deep breaths loud enough for him to hear. It was mostly quiet, and it was simple for RK900 to focus on the sound of the detective. RK900 didn’t often breathe, but after a while he could feel it helping. It was as though some of the tension just flowed out of his body. He noticed that the breathing was cooling him down. When did he start to overheat? He uncurled his fists slightly, his shoulders relaxing. He drew his knees up towards his chest. What must Detective Reed think of him now?

“Better?”

“Yes, thank you.” RK900 continued to stare at his feet. It was safer than facing the Detective’s inevitable rejection.

But why did he help? Potentially out of a sense of duty. The Detective would surely want to be rid of his broken partner after this.

“Never thought I’d see an android have a panic attack.” The Detective let out a little amused huff.

Panic attack? Running a comparison of standard symptoms against his own, RK900 could see how the Detective had drawn that conclusion.

“Androids cannot have panic attacks.”

“Maybe not machines, who the hell knows if deviants can.” The Detective had an excellent point. He’d talk to Connor about it later; the older deviant would know more. “You wanna tell me what happened?”

RK900 risked a quick glance at the Detective, instinctively analysing his facial expression and body language. It was relieving to see a lack of anger and disgust on the man’s face. He only seemed to be concerned about him. After what Detective Reed has done for him, he deserves honesty.

“Connor wants me to choose a name.” His current name, RK900, made others uncomfortable. For many it gave the impression that he belonged to Cyberlife and was merely an obedient machine. He understood why he had to, he was just struggling too much. The idea caused him to feel…anxious. What if he chose wrong? What if Connor and Hank disapproved?

“Bet the bastard thinks it’s easy, huh? Fucker never had to decide on ‘Connor’ for himself.”

RK900 cocked his head to the side slightly. “You have experience in this?”

“Yeah, ‘course.” After a moment of staring at the Detective a slight frown on his face, the human finally continued. “You do know I’m trans, right?”

“Of course. It’s listed on your file.”

The Detective rose an eyebrow a fraction, then chuckled. RK900 didn’t understand what he was finding so funny. “You seriously think someone named their daughter ‘Gavin’? ‘Course I chose my name, dipshit.”

“Oh.” That did make a lot of sense. Detective Reed would be a valuable source of advice on this topic. “How did you choose your name?”

The Detective leaned his head back against the wall behind them, a small grin on his face. “I chose it ‘cause it was similarish to my old one, but that doesn’t help you, does it?” He sighed, face now turned towards the opposite wall. “Some people do that, others had a nickname they liked anyway, or they just stumbled across a name they felt fit.”

“Ah.” It seemed RK900 was back to where he started from after all. Just a rather long list of baby names and no other clues to help him find the ‘right’ one.

“People’ve given you nicknames, right? Like any of them?”

That was an excellent point. RK900 did have a database of names others used to refer to him. ‘RK’, ‘R’, ‘Connor 2.0’ and ‘Terminator’ were often used by co-workers, and none of them particularly appealed to him. Some weren’t suitable as names in the first place. Lieutenant Anderson liked to call him ‘kid’ or ‘son’, but, again, they weren’t names. The majority of the nicknames he had stored were exclusive to Detective Reed and a vast number of those were insults. He had a feeling Connor wouldn’t approve of him calling himself ‘tincan’, ‘toaster’, ‘plastic prick’ ‘dipshit’ or ‘asshole’. That left only one.

“Nines.” Every single time the Detective had used that nickname a pleasant sensation generated in his systems. It wasn’t used to attack or belittle him, like the insults. It always seemed as though the detective said it accidentally, like he didn’t want the android to be aware of the name or that he’d come up with it. A small smile always threatened to slip onto his face when he heard it. This choice made sense. He liked it, he realised for the first time. It fit. “I want to be called Nines.”

The Detective pushed himself onto his feet with a grin. “Well then, should we get back to work, Nines?”

~~RK900~~ Nines took his outstretched hand despite not requiring any assistance, allowing his lips to quirk upwards a fraction. “Thank you, Detective.”

“Don’t mention it.”

Nines took the opportunity to scan his surroundings for the first time since he’d arrived and found himself in a corridor near the back of the building. It led towards where the old paper files where being stored until they were finally digitised, so it wasn’t used frequently. He pinged a quick message to Connor, then fell into step beside his partner.

The message was a mistake, he realised upon re-entering the bullpen. Connor was making a beeline towards him, clearly indicating he wanted to hug. Nines moved so that Detective Reed was in front of him, providing a little protection. Connor still wasn’t willing to be too close to the Detective following the events preceding the revolution.

“Please?” Connor asked, stretching his arms towards his brother.

“No.”

“But this is such an important moment!”

“We’re at work, Connor.”

“Fine.” His arms dropped back to his sides. “You’ll have no excuse when we get home.” He flashed a quick grin before spinning back around. This allowed Nines to make a quick retreat back to his desk, where he could focus on work for a few more hours.

 

 

Nines had expected nothing to change, after all their dynamic was remarkably efficient. However, to his surprise, Detective Reed was trying to be more friendly. He’d speak to him often when working, encouraged him to voice his opinion more frequently and would even include him in his conversations with Officers Miller and Chen during his breaks. It was all very strange, but Nines found that he didn’t mind it. He enjoyed learning new things about the detective and his friends.

Over time, he found it easier and easier to join in without prompting, worrying less about their opinions of him. He had compromised with Connor and stopped wearing his jacket whilst retaining the rest of his uniform. The first time he arrived at work without it, Detective Reed had told him he was “lookin’ good” and Officer Chen gushed over him for the majority of the day. They had all shown that they thought of him as just another person, not the broken machine he believed himself to be. They told him that they enjoyed his company, that they liked him. They were his friends. The thought caused his lips to twitch into a slight smile.

“So, Nines, cats or dogs?” Officer Chen asked. “We all know Connor prefers dogs, but what about you?”

Nines tilted his head to the side a fraction. “I was not programmed with a preference like my predecessor was,” he stated with a small frown.

The three humans smirked at him. Did he say something wrong?

“Maybe, but you’re a deviant now, you can decide for yourself or somethin’,” Detective Reed explained, smirk melting into what could be a fond smile if Nines didn’t already know that the detective wasn’t all that fond of him.

“I don’t have sufficient data to form an opinion on the matter currently.” Seeing the human’s confusion, he elaborated, “I have not interacted with a cat before and my only experience with dogs is with Lieutenant Anderson’s dog, Sumo.”

“You’ve never met a cat?” Officer Chen exclaimed, loud enough for Connor to hear and glance over to Nines. “We need to fix that immediately!” She turned very quickly towards the detective and continued, “We’re going to yours tonight.”

“You can’t just invite yourself over, Tina!” Detective Reed protested. Officer Chen had _that_ expression on her face, and Nines knew that none of them were going to be able to say no. “Fine.”

Connor was approaching the group, possibly concerned about the humans kidnapping his brother. Maybe this was his way out of the social event? He didn’t think he wanted a way out, however.

“Can I come too?” the older android asked. Nines stared at him and frowned, that wasn’t what he was expecting; Connor tended to be fairly protective of him. Now he was looking, he could see the sparkle in his brown eyes. “I’ve never seen a cat either and I’d love to meet yours.” Of course. Connor was a self-proclaimed ‘animal-lover’ after all.

Detective Reed rolled his eyes and let out a melodramatic sigh. “Fine, tin-can. You sure your old man doesn’t mind you two hanging out with a bad influence like me?” His wink caused Nines to smile and Connor to roll his eyes back at the human.

A notification appeared in his HUD and Connor clearly had the same as they both informed their co-workers that the break had ended, and they needed to get back to work. With Detective Reed’s parting words of “See you later, losers!” they were making their way over to their desks, settling in for the afternoon.

Nines felt like time was moving too slowly, though he was aware that it was progressing exactly as it always had done. Maybe it was because he was greatly anticipating the evening’s events? Yes, that sounded probable. It was an opportunity to learn about the appeal of felines, to see the detective’s home and to interact with his new friends in a more casual setting. The whole concept sounded… nice. Yes, it would be nice.

The evening finally arrived, and Nines found himself standing outside his partner’s door. Detective Reed was ushering the group through the door as quickly as possible so that they didn’t ‘let the bastards escape’. The first thing he noticed was that, despite all the cat hair, the apartment was relatively clean. He could see a well-worn couch, a large collection of DVDs, books, a couple of photographs-

“Stop scanning my shit,” Detective Reed called from the kitchen.

“Apologies, detective,” Nines and Connor simultaneously responded, Nines shifting his gaze to his shoes.

He could hear metal bowls being filled, presumably with food for the cats, and moments later the pattering of small feet raced from elsewhere in the apartment and two felines appeared in the main room.

“They’re so small!” Connor gasped, moving into the kitchen to watch them eat.

“You expecting them to be much bigger?”

“They are very small in comparison to Sumo,” Nines stated, explaining his brother’s reaction. He moved over to where he could analyse the cats more easily. One was an adult male with brown tabby markings, the other was a female ginger tabby kitten with a white underside. A quick scan revealed that they were both in excellent health and had been microchipped. The sight of these two clambering over to their food caused his lips to twitch upwards a fraction. “What are their names, Detective?”

“Call me Gavin, dipshit. We’re not at work anymore.” Gavin scoffed. “He’s Asshole and that’s Molly,” he stated whilst gesturing towards the felines. “Anyways, you guys want anything to drink?”

Officers Chen and Miller responded, but Nines was distracted by the cats. They seemed so delicate and fragile. It was probably better if he didn’t touch them; he didn’t want to ruin his relationship with Gavin because he unintentionally injured one of his cats.

The detective steered the group over to his couch, handing the other humans their beverages. “They’ll come say hi when they’re finished eating,” he reassured Connor, who had let out a disappointed whine at leaving the cats alone.

Conversation was easy, despite Connor not being a regular member of the group. Officer Chen was enthusiastically informing them about the date she and her girlfriend had been on recently; Nines wasn’t certain that all the details were necessary, but he supposed it showed that she trusted him. Officer Miller gave them an update of his young son and Connor immediately requested to see photographs of the boy. Connor was also eager to involve himself in the conversation, informing the humans of interesting events that occurred whilst walking Sumo and Nines would occasionally contribute to those stories. Exercising Sumo is something they would often do together, after all. The humans were also taking the opportunity to ask questions about Nines as well as Connor, considering he was a fairly private person and had not shared too much about his more…embarrassing hobbies. Connor had no qualms about giving away this information and was about to inform them of Nines’ knitting habit when the younger android felt a light pressure at his ankles.

“Looks like she’s finally come to say hello,” Gavin said as Nines looked down to find the culprit. He met those warm brown eyes and the kitten let out a sound that was fairly loud given her size. Gavin laughed and reached over to pick her up. “Noisy bastard just wants attention, don’t ya?”

Nines observed the gentle manner in which the human handled the feline, supporting her as he held her up to his chest. He ran his hand through her fur then pressed a soft kiss to the top of her head. Nines could see the affection in his eyes and the soft smile on his face. The android was sure he’d never seen the detective so relaxed before in their time of working together. He wanted to see it more.

He wanted Gavin to look at him like that.

The thought was startling. Nines had never felt something like that before. It was as though his chest was tightening, but in a pleasant manner. A brief scan didn’t reveal any problems with his biocomponents. That meant it was a new emotion. He made a note to speak with Connor about it later. In his periphery, he was aware of Connor moving, presumably to pet the other feline, but Nines remained focused on Gavin and the kitten.

“You want to pet her?” Gavin’s voice snapped him out of his thoughts and Nines felt his face heat up slightly as he realised he had been staring. He dropped his gaze to his shoes. He knew humans considered it rude to stare. “Molly loves pretty much everyone she’s ever met.”

“’Cept Lydia.”

“Yeah, but I think Molly can tell that woman hates cats, so I think it’s fair enough.”

“She only hates them ‘cause she’s allergic, Gavin.”

“Just shows you have bad taste in women, Tina.”

“Fuck off.” Officer Chen punched Gavin lightly on the shoulder in retaliation to his comment. Nines always found their bickering to be entertaining.

Gavin just laughed, a grin breaking out across his face. He then turned back to Nines with an expectant expression. “Go on, Nines.”

The android hesitated. There were so many scenarios running through his head. What if he used too much pressure and hurt her? What if he accidentally touched Gavin and the human appreciate the contact? What if Molly disliked him? He was an android after all, he would feel cooler than a human and didn’t have the same scent humans did. “Are you sure?” His voice was soft, he was certain only Gavin and Connor, if the other android was listening, could hear him.

“Course, dipshit.” Gavin bumped his shoulder against Nines’, in what he assumed was an action of reassurance.

Nines raised his hand and then held it near the kitten’s face. She sniffed his hand, then nuzzled her head into his palm. Her fur was a completely different texture to Sumo’s, but it was still so incredibly soft. Her rough tongue licked one of his fingers, then she rubbed her head against his hand once more. Nines took this as a hint and began to run his hand over her head, careful to not use too much pressure. The cat then wriggled free from Gavin’s hold, padding over Gavin and Nines’ legs to curl up in the android’s lap. The slight pressure from her weight was comforting. His lips quirked upwards once again as he ran his hand over the fur on her back.

“See, she likes you.” Nines shifted his gaze from the cat back to Gavin, meeting his blue eyes and returning his soft smile.

The kitten let out a strange sound, causing Nines to frown. “Why is the cat vibrating, Gavin?”

All three humans started laughing. Had he said something wrong? Should he have just looked up this information? Hank had previously informed him that ‘googling’ words or phrases he was unfamiliar with in conversations could be considered rude and that he should just ask, but maybe these humans held a different opinion? It seemed to be common knowledge amongst humans, so they would have likely assumed he knew this already. He could understand that, he was a computer, but his underdeveloped social programming consistently held him back.

“It’s called purring, all cats do it,” Gavin said. “It means she’s happy.”

“Don’t big cats do it too?” Officer Chen asked, and the conversation was quickly diverted away from Nines and his stupid question.

He felt Gavin’s thigh pressing up against his own. It was a reminder to take a deep breath, and the contact was grounding. He applied some slight pressure in return, the smile returning to his face. Molly was still purring in his lap, content with the attention she was receiving from the android.

“So, what do you two think of cats then?” Officer Chen asked, snapping Nines out of his moment of contentment. How should he answer the question? Would the humans want a specific answer? What if he got it wrong?

A hand lightly touched his own. He didn’t even realise he had been tensing it. Gavin offered him a small, reassuring smile and Nines gently took his hand into his own. It was comforting.

“They’re great!” Connor said, a bright smile plastered on his face.

“I like them as well,” answered Nines. Gavin gently squeezed his hand and Nines felt his chest tighten, the warm feeling returning. He felt like he could relax here, with a kitten, his brother and his friends. He let out the breath he was holding and allowed his face to form a proper smile.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic in a very long time and my first upload to AO3. I've been enjoying reading fic for this pairing and thought I'd have a go. I would be really grateful for any constructive criticism you could provide as I would love to write more for this fandom! I hope you enjoyed!


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